Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Depression: Tips to make it through the holidays.


For some people, the approaching Christmas Holidays are the most dreadful time of the year.  While others get excited at the thought of family visiting and gathering for a huge feast, exchanging gifts and reminiscing about Christmas past.  They get right into making sure that everything is perfect, the decorations get hung and the lights strung through the trees.  That the dinner is all planned and the wine is bought.  They have organized everything down to the tiniest details.

This time of year is very stressful and depressing for many people. It's often referred to as "the holiday blues."  The thought of shopping for the perfect gifts, arranging to hold the holiday dinner or, making plans to travel to another family member's home.  It can be overwhelming.  Then there are the company parties, Christmas Eve gatherings and other social activities.  The thought of having to be social or, leaving your comfort space, picking out something nice to wear so you fit in.  You worry about the cost of everything.  It's hard to make ends meet on a regular day and now you have to worry about providing a special Christmas for your children and family.  You feel as though you have to keep up with the Joneses.  You might be afraid that your children will get teased because they got a doll instead of a laptop.  All that adds more anxiety to what you are already feeling and may make you feel defeated.  

This may just be a temporary depression from the pressure you are putting on yourself to have a fairytale Christmas.  For others, they struggle with depression everyday, and have for years.  For them, it is beyond overwhelming.  They can barely plan their day to day activities let alone plan for something in advance. Organization has pretty much gone out the window.  Where do they start first?  What to do next? How will I get everything done?  It is very frustrating when you can't focus on the tasks at hand. You feel like crawling under the stairs and hiding until the New Year passes.

The worst part, that makes matters worse, is knowing that you should be enjoying this time of year. You're family tells you, your friends, people at the check-outs in stores telling you to enjoy your Christmas, even the happy Christmas shows and commercials on TV. Hearing it once or twice is daunting enough but, when you see it or hear it everywhere, it's a real downer.

If your depression is so bad people start to notice, or, you don't feel the slightest joy from anything and can't be bothered.  You should seek professional help immediately.

There are some tips and tricks to help you survive the holidays.  You just have to be open to trying them.  One of the most important to do, cut yourself some slack.  Don't force yourself to be happy and smiling, let your real emotions out.  Express to your family how you are feeling and that you are not up to holding the dinner party this year.  They will understand.  Don't be afraid to spend less. Appreciate what you have and stop worrying about what you don't have.

Forget about getting the perfect gift.  Give a gift card or certificate, the recipient will be happy they can get what they want.  Forget about an expensive suit or dress.  People will be happy that you even showed up and they get to see you.  Shake things up and spend Christmas with someone other than your family, or if you can, go on vacation, relax and do what you want to.  Avoid consuming too much alcohol as it acts as a depressant and can make people more open in a negative way.

Get yourself outside.  Exercise, sun and fresh air will get your endorphin levels up.  Those are the body's natural antidepressants.  Shovel the driveway or, your neighbour's driveway.  Play in the snow with your children or a pet.  Just 20 mins a day outside has proven to greatly help your health and your mental health.

Avoid family conflict.  If you know there is someone you are not fond of, stay away from them. Don't worry about them at all.  If you are too busy thinking about them, you are missing out on things that are positive.  If they insist on approaching you, tell them nicely how you feel and that you would rather not socialize with them. Excuse yourself and take a break from them in another room or, step outside.

Talk to people that support you either in person or on the phone.  Express your emotions, tell them what's going on.  Even if they don't have a solution and just listen, it will be off your chest and you focus more on the positive.

Get out into the community and volunteer.  Help a Santa hand out gifts or help out at a homeless shelter.  You will feel better knowing that you were able to help someone and make them happy.It will give you a sense of accomplishment.

This is just a fraction of what emotional upsets occur to people during the holidays.  There are numerous other resources to help you through the holidays when you need a little support.  There are crisis hotlines, plenty of online information, counselors and organizations there to help as well as doctors.  What works for one person, may not work for another but, there is help that is suited toward your situation.

Written By:  Mike Crawford



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